After the masterpiece that was The Fall and the mess that was Immortals,
director Tarsem marks his entry into the fairytale terrain, a crossing that
draws mixed, unexciting results. Mirror
Mirror, the new Snow White film tumbles on the big screen with weak writing,
exaggerated visuals and mildly nauseating acting. Its tedious humor can't
provide that effortless magical touch that the Disney classics are made of.
The story remains similar to the Brothers Grimm version – a
king (Sean Bean) of a faraway kingdom vanishes and his daughter Snow White (Lilly
Collins) is raised by her scheming, deceitful step-mother (Julia Roberts), who plans
with her crony (Nathan Lane) to take the kingdom away from Snow. Prince
Charming (Armie Hammer) shows up and falls in love with Snow, and the outraged
queen sends the girl away to the silver birch forest to be killed by a beast.
Snow is rescued by the dwarfs (Danny Woodburn, Mark Povinelli, Martin Klebba, Sebastian
Saraceno, Jordan Prentice, Joe Gnoffo) who teach her how to fight back and
overthrow the evil queen.
The problem is that the film is too visually opaque, quite
unlike Tarsem’s previous movies. There is a bit of his trademark surrealist
imagery, like the world where the queen enters by passing through the magic
mirror, but there’s not enough of it. The kids would find most of the dialogue
boring and the film clichéd - the CGI monster that appears in the end is too
generic to generate much interest. Even the dwarves are painfully uninteresting,
and one begins to realize that Tarsem is a great stylist, but a jaded
storyteller.
While the writing lacks depth and surprise, it’s the
characters which disappoint the most, and Mirror Mirror fumbles along as a pastiche of classic Disney. While
Lilly Collins is just about watchable as Snow White, Julia Roberts is
disappointingly dull and not evil or menacing enough to make an impression. The
film leaps to life only during the
few moments when Armie Hammer satirizes his own good looks. The most fun part,
however, is the Bollywood-esque climactic musical number that at least ensures
you leave the hall not completely annoyed.
(First published in MiD Day)
This comment has nothing to do with Mirror Mirror whatsoever (it's a shitty movie, I've never really liked Tarsem Singh, 'nuff said). What I really want to get to is this - holy fuck, if this is the Mihir from Fergusson College circa 2008-09 I'm honestly considering reevaluating whether my life is a spatial, temporal worm-hole all by itself. Fuck fuckity fuck. How have you been man?! Give me a phone number, I really want to catch the fuck up. My email is tejhaldule (at) hotmail (dot) com.
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