In one scene of Boss,
a melancholic and pained Mithun Chakraborty struggles with his crutch, looks
pensively towards the camera and says, “Ghaav to wo bharte hai jo shareer pe
lage ho. Ye ghaav to mere aatma pe laga hai.” (“Only physical wounds can heal.
These wounds are upon my soul.”)
It’s a meta line because it perfectly encapsulates the
effect that Boss has on the viewer.
It hurts your soul.
Starring Akshay Kumar from Rowdy Rathore, Akshay Kumar from Khiladi 786 and Akshay Kumar from OUATIMD, Boss is one of
the most shoddily-directed, pathetically-written and mind numbingly insipid
expenditures of two and a half hours that you’ll have subjected yourself to
this year. The film is a remake of the Malayalam movie Pokkiri Raja and seems to have been rushed into production the
second Simbly South remakes like Rowdy
Rathore scored box office platinum. It is shamelessly mediocre cinematic
swill posing as masala entertainment.
Hired to create this masterpiece is Mr Anthony D’Souza, the
filmmaker who gave us Blue along with
the writer duo of Farhad-Sajid. I could end this review right here because
that’s all you need to know about the lazy, unfunny awfulness of Boss, but since I love cinema, brace
yourself for a meticulous and analytical plot synopsis.
Akshay Kumar upturns a red mirchi cart in slow motion, then
Akshay Kumar swirls road dirt with his feet in slow motion, then Akshay Kumar
does the jig at a couple of discotheques while trying to reunite with his
estranged dad, and finally Akshay Kumar jumps screaming out of a pond in slow
motion. There’s your plot. Dammit, I’m moaning about the lack of a plot while
writing about an Akshay Kumar film titled Boss
– look at my effrontery.
Kumar’s performance transcends campy and fun into Hellraiser’s fourth dimension of
grotesque and horrific torture. It’s not that Kumar can’t do comedy – he was
terrific in Hera Pheri. If only he’d
return to doing well-written comedies instead of bile like this.
Bottom line: Boss expects you to laugh in the face of
amazing stupidity. The jokes would struggle to make a guy attached to a nitrous
oxide cylinder budge a facial muscle. The highlight of the film is a joke where
Boss saves a woman and bestows his brotherly affection towards her by naming
his truck ‘Behen ki lorry’. Seriously, I wonder how a human being would fund
this sort of humour. Maybe the producers would pay me if I point and laugh
uncontrollably at the first name of the film’s action director: Anal Arasu.
To keep up with the misogynist observational jokes of the
film, I must say that Aditi Rao Hydari in Boss
has done a really great job of showcasing her dripping wet, red bikini
torso. Her character has no other purpose in the film. However the Grand Mufti
of Atrociousness in Boss is the
venerable Mithun, forced to play an utterly stupid character and bare his
massive lack of dramatic chops in a series of ludicrous scenarios.
I can only assume that talented and likable actors like
Ronit Roy, Danny Denzongpa, Sanjay Mishra and Mukesh Tiwari had a few mortgage
loans pending so when the call came in for a big budget South remake starring
‘Akki’, they zoomed towards the auditions in an F1 car. There’s no judging
anyone for putting bread on the table, but it is depressing to watch them
wading through a wreck like Boss
because of (presumably) the lack of options in India’s film industry.
(First published in Firstpost)
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