Having survived Rakesh Roshan’s Koi… Mil Gaya and Krrish, I walked into Krrish 3 knowing what to expect – ‘inspiration’ from Hollywood films, inept direction and special effects, laughable dialogue, not-so-great songs and actors who don’t feel embarrassed by their cringe-inducing roles. What I didn’t expect was for Krrish 3 to be so mercilessly, excruciatingly boring.
The superhero of atrocious superhero filmmaking has struck again, and it’s not a pretty sight. Take the most superficial components of X-Men, Batman, Superman, Spiderman and even Shaktimaan; stuff them together in a litter bag, set that bag on fire and inhale the fumes – that’s pretty much what Krrish 3 feels like. The film is two and a half painful hours of poorly presented, unexciting action scenes, awful computer graphics, unimaginative storytelling and Hollywood theft of the most blatant and shameless variety.
So divorced from the spirit and energy of superhero films is Krrish 3 that it feels like something cobbled together by a bunch of clueless people who are convinced that Hrithik + Dance + Flying + Kangana cleavage = free money from cinemagoers. Superhero fans and movie geeks, even the teenage ones, deserve a lot better than this. The ‘plot’ picks up a few years after the events of Krrissh 2 (better known as Krrish). Junior and Senior Hrithik are up against a superhuman baddie named Kaal. This time, family gets kidnapped and things get personal, because Kaal is to Krrish what Venom is to Peter Parker. Will Krrish save the damsel in distress from Vivek Oberoi’s clutches? Watch the movie to unravel the mystery! The film is proud to claim five screenplay writers, which suggests that either the writers are Superhero Nom de Plumes of Rakesh Roshan, or they expect their audience hasn’t seen a single Hollywood movie or read a comic book.
Flip to any random sequence of Krrish 3 and you’ll see a film instructor’s worst nightmare:
a) Acting that is clumsy at best and unintentionally funny at worst. For some bizarre reason, Hrithik, who is in fact a massive talent, spasms and quivers his face every time he wears his Krrish costume and flies. Does the cold wind of Mumbai’s stratosphere make him shudder?
b) Costumes and sets that look like they were recycled from Alif Laila. A lot of buildings collapse and crumble like the 1950s’ Japanese Godzilla movies.
c) Songs written and choreographed to give the impression of a mammoth collision of various terrible components from 90s’ Bollywood.
d) Action choreography and editing that makes Ajooba look modern and stylish. Shyam Benegal has directed better action scenes than those found in Krrish 3.
e) More product placements than you can count. A big experiment that Krrish’s Scientist Papa does with lights has a prism branded ‘Flair Pens’. In another scene, Hrithik and Priyanka literally walk into a frame from either side and the camera focuses on two prominent brand hoardings instead of their faces.
Astoundingly, Krrish 3 is able to showcase CGI that seems to have been created using MS Paint. Seriously, the special effects in this movie make Ra.One and Aditya 369 look like the works of Stanley Kubrick and Ingmar Bergman. One wonders if Rakesh Roshan has seen Rajinikanth’s Enthiran, because a film that arrives three years after Enthiran should be more action packed and imaginative. But the soulless action set pieces in Krrish 3 just sit there, lazily trying to dazzle you with shrieking stupidity. Oberoi, who is initially a combo of Professor X and Magneto, later wears a metallic costume that looks like it was bought from a clearance sale at a Halloween store. Think Shaquille O’ Neal from Steel, but infinitely more ridiculous – that is what Oberoi’s ‘scary villain’ looks like in Krrish 3. The poor guy looks even more amusingly ludicrous during the flying and landing scenes because the CGI is almost worse than the croma from Supermen of Malegaon.
Kangana Ranaut, who is smart and candid in person, is given perhaps the most embarrassing role of her career. She’s made to wear latex S&M costumes and deliver her lines in elliptic staccato. From Ranaut’s blank (but beautiful) face to the perpetually-confused one of Exotic Chopra and including all the scene-chewing cameos from Arif Zakaria, Rajpal Yadav, Mohnish Behl and Rakhee Tandon (Sweety from Hum Paanch), this is a movie that has desi versions of pretty much every character from every American superhero series. And just as Mystique morphs so smoothly into different personas, your bewilderment morphs into contempt as you watch Krrish 3, because really, the film is just a filmmaker calling you a moron for two and a half hours.
(First published in Firstpost)