The horrendous Twilight movies didn’t just make money
and leave quietly. They took a giant dump on the world and left skid marks all
over so that Hollywood could scrape away the yellow and sell it as gold. The
last thing we needed was Twilight spawning
a whole barrage of even stupider films targeted towards intellectually vacuous teenagers.
But as The Host showed, the trend has
clearly declined, and the absence of the shiny soap bar Robert Pattinson would prevent
The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones from
finding success at the box office.
Based on the Mortal Instruments series by Cassandra Clare, City of Bones is a rare film that invokes an emotion that is seldom
felt by audiences – pity. The awfulness of City of Bones’ narrative is explained when you get to know that Harald
Zwart, the guy who previously made the Karate
Kid and the Pink Panther remakes
directed this film. The latter was responsible for pretty much ending Aishwarya
Rai’s Hollywood journey, and though it may not reflect on Zwart’s talent as a
filmmaker it is nearly impossible to forgive someone who launched Jaden Smith’s
career.
The story is formulaic to begin
with but the lack of creativity in this film is staggering. Girl begins to see
strange otherworldly things. Girl’s parents disappear. Girl discovers that there
is a world within our world and that she has a gift. Girl joins a band of other
boys and girls with gifts to overthrow the evil dark forces of the other world
who want to take over our world. This is as unimaginative as it gets and the
only explanation for this film being funded is that the studio is under the
impression that Buffy the vampire slayer,
Harry Potter, Star Wars and Twilight
never happened. In the film people who aren’t gifted are called ‘mundane’ –
it’s a term that can be used to describe the film itself.
You can’t help but feel bad for
the star – Lilly Collins is a gorgeous, talented young girl who clearly thought
this film would make her the next Kristen Stewart. It must be frustrating for
the poor girl because this is not the first time Stewart stole her thunder –
they both had Snow White films last
year and Stewart’s version made money, albeit with a little cushion for the pushin’.
(First published in MiD Day)
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